Crying is soo not ‘metal’!

If you have known me for any length of time, or very well, you probably know that I am a crier. I cry more than a person should, and I hate it. If something stupid makes me cry, I usually start to feel angry that I was reduced to tears to begin with, that I start to cry harder. This sometimes defies nature because I can’t imagine being able to cry ‘harder’.

So, why this post? Why this post not even 30 minutes after Christmas? I was raised where holidays are everything. 20-30 people gather in one house to spend breakfast/dinner or both (Easter and Christmas) together and for the past 5 years I haven’t been able to be ‘home’ for the holidays. This year, I chose to be away, the 4 years before were because my ex was a dick. Sometimes, but not often, someone will pick up their phone to call me and say Merry Christmas or Happy (insert holiday here), not often. Today, my phone never rang. Not once. I got a text from my dad which was nice to see, but not a call.

Growing up in my family I have learned that it is customary for the people not living at ‘home’ to call the home of whoever is hosting the holidays. Did I do this today? No. I didn’t. Let me explain why. This most recent Thanksgiving, I called and was only able to speak to 4 people. Only 4 people out of 30 bothered to say hello or wish me a happy holiday. That wrecked me. I cherish every person in my family and actually wanted to hear those voices I miss so much, and that didn’t happen. So, instead of going through that again, I opted just not to call. A part of me hoped my phone would ring, someone would have thought of me and wanted to hear my voice. So, here I am, laying on the couch fighting like hell to keep the wells of tears from streaming down my cheeks. Not wanting this ridiculousness to get the better of me.


2 Comments to “Crying is soo not ‘metal’!”

  1. Aww if I had your number I would have called 🙂 long distance prices would be a bitch tho lol

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