Bitten by the Bored-Bug

The saying, “Don’t let the Bed Bugs Bite” doesn’t really apply to me. I leave the apartment usually twice a day. Once to drive Hunny to work, and once to pick Hunny up from work. It’s usually from the apartment to my car, back to the apartment. We were having twice-a-week band practices over at a band mate (and friend)’s house, but the guys haven’t been able to all get together and when the bass player schedules a writing session with Hunny, he always cancels due to one thing or other. They’re all wonderful guys, don’t get me wrong, and without them I wouldn’t leave the apartment, other than to taxi Hunny around, for a whole week.

It’s definitely taking it’s toll on me though, and Hunny, a little. We are getting really bored in the evenings, I have the ability dive head-first into a book, but then Hunny gets bored and starts talking to me, interrupting my book and I end up getting annoyed and putting it down. I know he means well, and that it is just because he is bored, but I can’t always get rid of the annoying feeling right away and he knows I’m annoyed so then we sit in awkward silence and it just sucks. I have gotten so much better in the past 6 months about noticing that I’m feeling a certain way and doing something to change it. I write in my journal almost every day, and I will write myself through my feelings, over and over if that’s what it takes, and eventually I will get over my frustrations. To me, there is nothing more frustrating than knowing you’re in a bad mood, knowing it’s ridiculous that you’re in a bad mood, and not being able to shake the feeling.

I am super sensitive, I admit it. Things that would pass over someone else’s shoulders will hit me right in the face and will leave me reliving it over and over getting more and more heated. Hunny knows that I get this way, but, again, I try to work myself through the situation and decide to make it not bother me. The thing that will snap me backwards though is when people say, “It was a joke”, or “Jeez, learn to take a joke”. I know it is not up to other people to figure out what makes me tick, but let me just tell you. I am super sensitive and things get under my skin very easily because growing up, that was the kind of psychological torture my brother put me through. When he wasn’t stabbing me with steak knives in the face, pushing me off of the top bunk, or punching me in the face, he was busy tearing me down with his words.

Another thing that I have been conditioned to do, and it annoys the hell out of Hunny, is ‘putting words in peoples mouths’. For example, last night, we were talking about Velveeta (my BFF is a Velveeta Kitchenista and she posted a picture of the new Spicy Buffalo Style Velveeta [to be released soon]) which sparked us to discuss the one kind of Velveeta. Well, I offered up that they have the Shells and Cheese version, and don’t ask me why, I thought it was already cooked and combined. I have never bought it, nor have I wanted to buy it (I like adding Penne instead) so I haven’t even just picked up the package to read it. Hunny made the comment that “he’s good for something” or “he’s here for something” and I said, “I never said you weren’t good for something”. Which to me, is my way to assure him I appreciate he’s here. He took it as me putting words in his mouth and it turned into this whole uncomfortable discussion. I wasn’t trying to accuse him of anything, I wasn’t trying to upset him in any way, but when people do/say things like that, I’ve been trained to jump in and make sure they know I didn’t have ill intentions.

See what I mean… Bored-Bug. I’ve rambled on about a silly issue that was bugging me last night, and unintentionally made it into a whole post. *sigh* I kind of want to convince Hunny to go to the Library with me once he’s off work. I have some severely overdue books and I need to return them to unblock my account so I can place holds on the books I need for my Read 100 Books in 2011 challenge. It will get one of my errands done, it will get us out of the apartment, and maybe he can find some CD’s or DVD’s to check out.


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